In 1991, during a conversation wherein a teacher’s instructions were taken too literally, Boone and Jeremiah spun a yarn, a yarn that stretched far and wide. A yarn wrapped around the hearts of everyone it touched. Was it a good yarn? I’m a frayed knot.

Thirty-five years ago, could anyone have predicted the cultural imprint of this story Jeremiah scribbled out overnight while Boone typed away in his mausoleum? For this was not just one story. It was three stories. In one.

Set in the gleaming metropolis of Gallup, New Mexico, Three Stories in One tells the timeless, irredeemably stupid tale of five unlikely friends as they navigate the hardships of high school, the Indy 500, the whipped cream effigy of a retired governor of New York, and the Almighty God(s).

In a matter of months, Three Stories in One: The Book became Three Stories in One: The Comic, Three Stories in One: The TV Series, Three Stories in One: The Anime, Three Stories in One: The Dissertation, Three Stories in One: The Epic Poem, and Three Stories in One: The Interpretive Dance.

Anyone you met on the street could tell you about the heart and soul of these stories, four misfits and Amber. There was Boone, the friendly Goth who was a hit with the ladies; Jeremiah, the nerd with an ax to grind; Luke, the handsome, smooth-talking greaseball; Wendy, the Worst Driver in the World; and Amber, who shared her dazzling good cheer with everybody, even Luke.

As the twenty-first century dawned, the misadventures of the teenagers with hearts of gold and Luke were all but forgotten, until the twentieth anniversary, when Broadway, in need of a hit, debuted Three Stories in One: the Musical. Who could forget those unforgettable numbers, “Saddle Sore No More,” and “Would Somebody Let Me Touch Their Butt?”

That brings us to now, as the long overdue Three Stories in One: the Movie is set to premier here, at the El Morro Cinema, in Gallup, New Mexico, starring Tobey Maguire as Jeremiah, Keanu Reeves in elevator shoes as Boone, Ryan Gosling as Luke, Margo Robbie as Amber, and Zendaya as Wendy. Said Reeves, “I feel like my entire professional career was leading to this.” Maguire had this to say, “Did you know they wrote a song about a bullfrog for him?”

In honor of this momentous occasion, we reached out to the original characters, scattered across the United States, all surviving into their fifties, which came as a surprise to everyone working on this piece. That goes double for Jeremiah.

First, we got a quote from Wendy: “If you don’t get that microphone out of my face, I’m going to—” This was followed by something that sounded like a mop soaked in pudding and dipped in chalk colliding with a side of beef.

Next, we spoke to Amber, who no longer has time for childish things, unless they are literally her children. Then she has all the time.

Luke said something anti-Woke. 

Boone is currently a woman named Severa, and no one knows where to find her.

Jeremiah no longer rides a bike, but he’s expecting some tragedy to pull him out of retirement, where he will find out very quickly that he is overweight and out of shape.

Join us as we walk on down the hall, into the path of an out-of-control Volkswagen Karmenn Ghia, and go flying. It’s timeless, it’s energetic, it’s naughty, and it’s even dumber than you remember. It’s Three Stories in One, and if that doesn’t make you proud to be an American, nothing will.